Sophie, the head physio at the centre, is such a character, she woke me up from a deep sleep after lunch and told me it was time to go the gym. Feeling completely out of it I managed to complete the work exercises using the parallel bars and steps. Then Sophie took me to one side and began to massage my left hand. Now there is massaging and there is Sophie’s massage. Moving my arm abruptly up, down, left and right, I was introduced to a new pain threshold. I tolerated it for an enormous 3 minutes but then I couldn’t bear it any more. As Sophie commented that my arm was moving more freely, I let out a very loud F&@K that was heard all over the gym. Sophie was crying out with laughter while I was crying tears of excruciating pain!
Taken from Jeff Foster
So much of our lives are spent running – from pain, from vulnerability and from everyday struggle. Shed your resistance and step into the limitless ocean of the present moment.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
– Oscar Wilde
I used to have this idea that there was something wrong with me for not being able to accept the waves and make them go away, like I wasn’t strong enough. But it’s not about me being strong enough to accept the waves. The waves of present experience are already accepted in what l am. I don’t need to accept them. I just notice right now that they are already allowed in. I don’t have to be strong enough to accept them. I’m simply too weak to prevent them from coming in anymore.
– an unknown Dutchman
It’s a turning point in my life. I find myself at the crossroads with a real opportunity to change direction. I can be and really want to be a better person and everyday I thank him ( still not sure I believe in god but I believe someone is looking out for me). I have been given a second chance and I am going to take it big time.
For the last 10 years, off and on, l have lead an alternate life, separate from my wife, Anne. And my children, Héloïse and Orlando. A life characterized by alcohol, substances including drugs and everything that one does when high. I was an a€@$£t. But no longer.
How I am ashamed of what I have done and more importantly the pain I have caused to my loved ones.
As a result of this continued abuse, I needed to have surgery on my nose and it was during my third operation that a mistake was made by the surgeons who took more of my head than was needed. It plunged me into a coma which lasted for weeks.
When I came back from my near death experience, I realized I had changed. I wanted to repay all the pain I have caused starting with my wife, kids, parents, brothers and sister.
And this is what I am trying to do…..