#343 So…The End of a Season

It’s a beautiful day in paradise. Waves very gently lapping the seashore, no wind just a tiny little breeze making the tops of the reeds waver. Sun worshippers lying reading e-books, playing with the telephones, walking the dogs kicking the football. No noise. No shrieking kids. No loud raucous drunken behaviour. This is Salis beach with only the people from Antibes here. Gently going about their day. It is indeed a beautiful day in paradise that is also a very sad one

Last day in paradise 😢

Today is my last day on the beach. Emma, my Aqua gym instructor, who has been working me very hard in the water here in Antibes, is now switching upon my request to Forest work or should I say forest bathing in anticipation for skiing with the kids at Christmas, I am not sure that there will be much skiing, at least for me, but I’m going to give it a go. More about that another day.

We walked up and down the waters edge with the water just below the knees on the way out and on the way back just above the knees. Tiring. Followed by lots of arm and leg exercises in the water left my left leg 🤣 tired and my right leg exhausted! And then floating on my back where Emma is holding onto my right arm and then i performed many different exercises like raising my legs rising up and down and in and out and left and right. This was then followed by a series of exercises on the steps and carrying a weight in my right hand. All in all a very tiring work out that was over in a flash. The time passed so quickly.

The steps

This is awesome. This is the first time that my right leg has actually gone up and down like my left leg. In the sea. So I am incredibly grateful and happy about this phenomenal progress. This outweighs all of the pain and aches that I am feeling from not having used these muscles for three years.

It was a particular strenuous workout because I was exercising my right knee muscles that have not really been exercising for at least three years. This is because my leg, when lifting it out of the water, would tend to go to the side. But today was different. Today, my leg rose up as it should do and not at all to the side. Yippee 🙌

I think this is the result of all of the exercises that I have been practising over the last few months. And I am enormously grateful to the wonderful women who are making all this amazing recovery possible. A big thank you 🙏 goes out to Rikke, Nicki, Charlotte, Elena, Laura and Emma.

I am very humbled and also very happy to have received this change in state today. I had this impression that following my acupuncture yesterday evening, from Rikke, that I was walking perfectly for the first time. When I woke up this morning, I walked to the shower and I realised that it was not the case. It was only when I was in the water with Emma, then she pointed out that in fact I was lifting the knee straight up for the first time I’m not hitting her leg. Then I realised that in fact I really was walking much better. Huge beaming smile 😊

Well, time to walk back to Charlotte, which will take at least an hour and a half. But I will be smiling all of the way.

Onwards and with my right leg lifting upwards together

Beautiful

#342 So…Teetering

I am teetering on the edge. On the edge of what? Good question! I am trying so hard to gather my thoughts, rationalise my thinking so that I can understand what is going on from beginning to end. But there is a part that is not available at the moment. I could have said missing but I chose at the very last minute or moment to change the narrative. That is a positive sign in amongst the feelings of desperation.

What is difficult is my inherent desire to work out what is going on in my head as I’m thinking my thoughts? I try to understand them, interrogate them, question them, and I expect, or rather I look forward, to having an immediate response from my mind. But instead, there is only emptiness. And it’s proving debilitating, demoralising and fills me with despair and despondency.

An example is in my desire to rewrite the narrative of my thinking so that I’m not reacting to circumstances. I am not a victim. But there is a gap. A gap in my consciousness that I would love and I’m desperate to fill automatically. And instead of almost having continuous thoughts and processing these thoughts from the position of abundance, I find it difficult, nigh on impossible, to change my narrative, at any given moment. For sure people close to me tell me that this is not the case. That my memory and my mind are working well. But I know differently.

I can feel it and sense it. And the cumulation of these mini doses of stress keeps on adding to my despair and discomfort.

I am narrating this post rather than typing it because that is much easier for me at the moment with my difficulties. And I am narrating this or speaking this in a soft calm voice but my inner voice is screaming so loudly and so violently, wanting to be heard. It is almost pushing me to tears. This feeling of helplessness is so debilitating and soul destroying. And then I start entering into my typical downward spiral focused on my physical difficulties, and my emotional and mental difficulties that combine to present me with a very sad and unfortunate situation.

Life outside is bright and beautiful

Outside it is a beautiful autumn day with a light breeze, the sounds of children and families going about their every day tasks. So much frivolity and happiness on the outside. Yet inside me there is a mixture of despair and despondency as well as this nothingness that is the gap in my head. Having been someone who is centred on creation, giving birth to new ideas, it is very demoralising to have lost my ability to create and interact with my own thoughts in real time. For the moment.

I do believe it is a temporary and that is what spurs me on. I know I am getting better, albeit slowly. But it’s progress every day and that is what is important and motivating. Motivating me to continue on this journey of discovery.

But right now it doesn’t stop me from feeling the way that I feel. The fear of missing out, FOMO, it’s still there although much less visible and impactful. But there nonetheless.

I am focusing on breath work, meditating, going for walks in nature, and generally being calm to try and get through these periods. I have a real desire to question these emotions and try and get meaning and more clarity from them at this moment. That is not possible at the moment, it is but a pipe dream. So I need to keep working on the FLOW and asking the Universe to intervene. To help.

I am pretty conscious that the clarity of these posts might be sometimes difficult to comprehend or follow. And I think that is in its self representative of how I am and how my mind is functioning.

I might be being hard on myself, sometimes too hard on myself, but I know how I was before.

That I was able to multitask and hold intelligent conversations in multiple languages. I’m working on that state of awesomeness every day and I believe I will reach the desired outcome soon.

I have just received an alert from one of my meditation apps that states that I may experience a sudden shift in my inner world today.

Well that about sums it up!

#341 So…To Heal You Need To Stop Going Back

Give a little every day

A very powerful way to start my day. A quote from my morning meditation practice. And it’s something that I am practising every day. I have been practicing for a few years now. In fact some of my former friends, I say former because I liken them to pre-accident rather than post accident, but nevertheless they are still my friends, encourage me to go back to how I was before. Well that will never happen because I don’t look backwards, I only look forwards. It’s very important to progress. It’s very important to be conscious of the journey that we are all on. I don’t want to go back.

The past is the past. We cannot change that. It has made us who we are. Today, in the present moment, we are who we are based on where we have been, who we have met, who we have not met in the experiences that we have encountered.

I read some time ago that all humans are human. Ha ha. By this I mean that we are mere mortals. We are fallible. We are not perfect. So, why on earth would we want to go back to how we were before. We are how we are because of what we have done seen lived experienced before, in the past. Of course, each one to their own, but this mere mortal is going forward not backwards.

We can be inspired by past memories and that can give us encouragement to progress and continue driving forward. Along our journey. Today I saw a video on WhatsApp of three of my cousins performing SuperTrooper by ABBA from the musical Mamma Mia. They were in costume, singing with hairbrushes and having enormous fun. It brought tears to my eyes. Then immediately I read a post about how one of my cousins in New Zealand is battling with breast cancer for the last 12 years. And as she is going through chemo, she is being very strong and relishing in all of the contact from all her cousins, near and far. Who are all amazingly positive and wonderful people who are giving my cousin C so much love support and encouragement. And I cried again, this time for very different reasons.

And these are just examples from today. My own personal battle following my eight week coma due to a surgical error that placed me in a wheelchair as I lost touch with my right side, still continues. However, I am concentrating so much on what I have and not what I do not have. Life is for living and we can never know what might happen tomorrow or the next day, so it is really important to live for today and make the most out of every day.

That is easier said than done. However hard the struggle is, I am a great believer in the healing power of the mind and how you can serve do you help combat the pain and the painful memories of my accident.

And I have come along way. 3 1/2 years ago I touched the other side but it was not my time and I came back. During this time, I have experienced and developed a totally new and different life. One that I am embracing with gusto. I am naturally positive, persistent and full of perseverance. Add to that the fact that I am much more reflective than before. And that in itself is a blessing. I spent much of my time thinking about others and how I can help them. How I can give back.

Sometime ago I had a conversation with a spiritual healer or medium and many of the aspects that I am experiencing were foretold by her in our conversation. One of those was that I have lived many different lives. And that my purpose here on Earth, in this current life, is to give back and help others.

So it’s interesting that this post was called “to heal you need to stop going back” And I think that perhaps I should add “and start giving back”

Well that’s what I’m going to do. It’s what I want to do. And I’m really looking forward to it.

Giving back

#340 So…Down But Not Out

Hi, this is Mike. One of my meditations begins like that. It’s very calming. Except the guy says his name. Jeff. Spoken in a deepish kind of relaxing but direct voice as if he is exhaling and calming down and being in the moment. With me. Nice.

And I have need of this calming effect as I am still reacting to certain everyday unforeseen situations. For example, I went to the bank today and found that between 3pm and 4pm, it is not the best time for me to be speaking French. I am more and more tired as the day goes on. But I try and I try because I don’t give up. I don’t want to give in. Even though I’d like to. Speaking fast French with a very attentive bank director, who is the boss of my usual bank manager, and his assistant who is speaking at the same time trying to sort some anomalies on my account, is still difficult for me. It’s getting better but I notice that it is still difficult. I am hard on myself but also I am keen to progress. I wouldn’t have made all the progress to date if I had been easy on myself.

Next, I went to the post office and met Fred. I used to play football with Fred all those years ago. Father and son games with Orlando. I was so proud to play with Orlando but half the time I was on a different planet even at 10am on a Sunday morning. Back to Fred. And even though the first thing that he said was “is the arm still not moving?”, I was really pleased to see him, being positive and thoughtful. He is a PSG supporter and I’m enquired after how the team is doing. Don’t react. That’s new. I used to react immediately but now I have learnt to take a deep breath and move on. To engage with the person 100% attentively. And then I let him know that there was a certain team in England that was top of the league at the moment. My team. And he said “not for long”. Then I left.

Both these situations caused me to feel disconsolate. A certain amount of despair was creeping in. They had got under my skin but in the exchanges I didn’t show it to them. But they had penetrated my armour which was not as strong and robust as I would have liked.

And walking out from the post office, I felt the full force of my current difficulties and realised that I am the biggest kid around. Who am I trying to convince? I know that I am hard on myself and I tried to raise my morale being happy when I see unexpected people or do unexpected things like speak in French at 3 pm.

And then I met Natalie who was overjoyed to see me. As I kissed her on both cheeks, she just said that I was a pure ray of sunshine. That was wonderful to hear and I gave her lots of compliments myself and she was beaming from cheek to cheek.

Cascading Fountain

I don’t expect in any way people too recognise or even cover up the fact that I am still limping and have an arm that is moving less than the other. Sure that is really sad and demoralising. But it is not how I feel and see myself. I feel every day that there is improvement in my memory, in my leg and more importantly in my arm. This is a long slow road to recovery but I am on it, in it and certainly moving very much in the right direction.

Charlotte sent me a recording that I had sent her of my conversation with a healer in the UK, and I think dated towards the back end of last year. Not sure. Anyway, it gave me such hope and inspiration that I listened to it twice. It spoke about things happening to me this year that are happening right now. So, whether it is grit, passion and perseverance, sheer dogged hard work, belief in the spiritual side of life, meditation, we shall never know. Personally, i believe it is a mixture of all these elements. The physical and emotional and spiritual elements that are enabling me to progress quickly. So quickly. But the funny thing is, is that I don’t really see or recognise it as fast or rapid, it is more that I am not as aware of time as I was before. Or of the progress. What I mean by that is that I do not place more emphasis on it than is required. Because that only leads to disappointment. So I go with the flow.

Time exists. Time takes time. Progress is what is important as well as patience and perseverance. I have all of that in abundance. I am continually pushing my limits and boundaries and so it is no surprise that I get affected when I meet people like Fred or my replacement bank manager who doesn’t know me. From Adam. But I know how to cure these lapses in my obstinate behaviour. I quickly headed to the park and now I’m sitting on a park bench looking at nature, the turning colours of the trees and their leaves and the sound of the cascading fountains and their tumbling jets of water.

And I find peace. Cold peace but peace all the same. It is colder here than in the south of France. Considerably so. An hour has passed and it’s time to wend my way back and get on my bike to carry on my path of progress towards awesomeness. And I will get there. I am getting there. I am there.

Turning Leaves of Autumn

#339 So…DIY Enlightenment

I listened to a meditation today. As I do every day but this one was particularly interesting. It was called Let The Good Land. Take one extra second to appreciate what you see, what you do, what is in front of you and what is around you. DIY enlightenment. Thanks and I love that term.

DIY Enlightenment

Notice what you notice. For me it’s not just things, plant things, animal things. It is also about recognising humans for who they are.

For example I noticed the spikes on a whole number of Cacti that were on the roadside as I as out walking today. I was curious 🤨 about how hairy they were. Normally I would not have seen that level of detail. Similarly a bumblebee, unable to fly, was scooting along the road trying, dangerously but successfully , to avoid oncoming traffic and certain death. It was very rewarding to be able to remark this level of detail and recognise this level of attention.

But I was particularly taken today by two very special people in my life. People who give 100% maybe more, and ask for nothing in return. It is of course Anneli and Mark. Together an awesome combination of love and gentleness. I saw both of them today to say goodbye as I am going back to Paris. And their welcome and goodbye hugs 🤗 we’re full of love and meaning that penetrated me to the core. I even had a second hug as I was leaving , from Mark as he was as sad as me to experience the separation from what I am pleased and proud to call really good friends. The good news is that I am coming back soon and I will be able to reflect during this time on the progress of my friendship with them both. Suffice to say, they are genuine people with a whole lot of heart ♥️. I am very fortunate and touched that they are in my life.

#338 So…Acceptance

The U2 song goes, “I am stuck in the moment”. and conjures up how I feel this weekend.

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm ’til you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down, to nothing at all

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along the stony paths

It’s just a moment
This time will pass

Yesterday was a monumental day of discovery myself and about myself. There was bound to be some fallout. It really ended well, yesterday, eating well . I think it is the best sushi I have had in my life. Simply out of this world. Wonderful evening and night and morning. And now the fallout begins.

What is this fall out? Time goes still or stays still. Possibly it’s time for reflection? I need to remember that life is not linear in terms of its progress.

I had some ideas yesterday evening for my own self development and I would like to join some clubs, whether they be online or off-line. Clubs can inspire me, resonate with me and give me intellectual stimulation. Laughing at myself is music to my ears because it shows to me that I am ready to embark on another phase. In this journey.

My head feels really bizarre at the moment, in that several times during the day, it feels like there is cotton wool in abundance. While at other times there is total lucidity.

And right now there is partial lucidity, obscured a bit by not really knowing how I feel and how I am. What is important is to go with the flow and the podcast that I listened to just yesterday was very relevant and timely, talking about how to get and keep in the flow.

Curiosity

Passion

Purpose

Mastery

Autonomy

All combine to create FLOW

So now I will focus on developing my curiosity, my passion, my purpose, my autonomy and mastery and apply that too many if not everything that I do. Let’s see where it goes.

#337 So…Anxiety before the Calm

What a very weird 24 hours. Actually 48 hours. And it’s amazing with a bit of reflection, how I can gather my splintered emotional life together and progress.

All exercised out

Here on the beach of Antibes, there are not very many people now the season is practically over. Just the locals and a few foreign tourists like Germans and Russians left to close out the season. There are still the customary or arbitrary somebody’s who are attracted to their self care and looks. The older generation who are carrying out their step exercises up and down the beach and at the water’s edge solely and/or together at a very easy pace in keeping with the feeling of restfulness and calm.

Oh and there’s me, glutton for punishment, walking up and down the beach in the water as well as carrying out numerous leg and arm exercises. Thank you Emma for encouraging me. I even walked up and down in the sea four times as well as carrying out numerous tiring exercises. Objective achieved!

So I’m in the calm at the moment, so where’s the anxiety? Well, two days ago I had a feeling that I was changing. I didn’t let on thinking that it will pass but in fact it was the beginning of a new phase of my emotional existence.

It has included sleepless nights, dreaming of breakfasts and interrupted routines. And all this has caused me enormous bouts of anxiety on the inside, and yet on the outside I tried as much as possible to create a semblance of normality. This is not to say that my new friends such as Mark and Annelie, and Lucy and her new husband Arri, the parents of Oscar and Jack, were in anyway to blame for this anxiety because they weren’t. Not At All.

It’s like a chrysalis process. Caterpillars turn into butterflies. I have been in my bubble, or rather in a bubble and now I am transferring into another bubble. One that is much closer to reality. And this has its elements of anxiety creation.

Sometime ago I wrote about the notion of fear and how it can be seen or rather felt as either a positive or a negative emotion . It is a signal from my body to myself highlighting that there is change coming. Not necessarily negative change but one that I call positive change. And this change manifests itself in disrupted routines, going out for breakfast and meeting new people and ultimately being as close to normality as possible. The Anxiety was knowing that this change was about to happen and preparing me to overcome any kind of anxiety that might manifest itself during this process and to take advantage and enjoy the moment as much as possible.

And although it was destabilising a bit because of the numerous amounts of simultaneous conversations and crying babies that were competing for my attention coupled with my attempts to try and comprehend and listen to each one of those conversations or sounds equally. And I stuck with it. And what’s more, Mark and Annelie and Lucy, without actually knowing, helped me out enormously. By just being themselves and as interested in me as I was with them.

It’s took a therapy session with Carol as well as 2hrs of reflection time afterwards by the sea to get to this point. But I feel positive, happier in myself and am enjoying getting closer to real daily life.

In the background, I hear the dulcet Swedish tones of “baby steps, one little step after another” from Charlotte even though she’s not here. But I’m sure that’s what she would say. Don’t rush. Everything in it’s time.

Onwards and upwards together! With a great big beaming smile!

#336 So…Intergalactic

At Salis beach. Blue blue sky. Very soft breeze. Not many people. Perfect day to go and do my Aqua gym. Emma keeps pushing me more and more, harder and harder. We now have an objective to walk up and down the beach four times. By the end of the winter which is not long down here.

So the objective is to walk up and down 4 times and then do the intense workout. So off we go. Walking. Water below my knees. This makes it so much harder due to the resistance of the water and the fact that I really need to lift my legs out of the water every time. But she knows I love a challenge and every time I am able to do more even though I get very tired afterwards. I wouldn’t change it for a moment because I find it so beneficial. Yet I am still trying to leave but am so tired. Healthy tiredness. And it’s 1 1/2 hours later.

Intergalactic Mike

I went to get a mango and strawberry smoothie from the local Beach vendor on the beach and the guy serving asked me “from what galaxy did you arrive from? I replied that I was a Master of the Universe and had come out of the sea. He seemed to accept that, and off he went and made a phenomenally good smoothie.

I spent my intergalactic journey with my star intergalactic trainer, Emma, in the water doing jumping jacks, lifting my knees, jumping on the spot, squats and wood chops amongst many other beautiful exercises. Followed by lying on my back and kicking my legs together and individually, with straight knees, and bending the knees. Every combination possible. Many different non stop combinations. And then we came out of the sea and spent 10/15 minutes doing step work front on, side on, up and down, with weights. Healthy knackering.

Intergalactic Emma

Thank you very much Emma. You’re working very ne very hard and I’m revelling in it.

#335 So…The Story Continues

I would say here we go again, but that would not be true. It’s more like a continuation of the story, my story. This bizarre feeling that is bizarre. Maybe I should not use the word bizarre. So my story is an absolute marvellous journey of a lifetime. Do I feel better? Not really, but it’s true. It is an absolute marvellous journey of a lifetime. Just at times it seems very difficult.

Journey of a Lifetime

I’ve talked before about going with the flow, down and ups, and this is the real me et cetera and a lot of that was based on the surprise and the surprising feeling of being on this journey. This incredible journey. And that journey continues. And continues. Never ceasing to amaze me. It’s no wonder that the first website that I ever produced is called amaze. The reason behind the name is twofold. The first is the maze that we have to navigate in order to get to our destination. And the second is it it is absolutely amazing to be on this journey.

A Maze

So has anything happened today? Or yesterday? Oh yes. The surprises keep on coming. For example my Orthophoniste , Laura, just this morning, during my session with her, said that I must be an inspiration to all the people within my circle of friends. It’s so rewarding and encouraging to hear comments like this. It fires up the motivation neurons or emotions or both. We then spent much of the session talking about a possible opportunity that had come to me only five minutes before I met her. This idea is based on the notion of helping people step up from wherever they are at this particular moment, through motivation and positivity, which apparently I have bags of. This could even be done at cost or even free of charge. And then be supplemented by narrating these experiences and stories into a book and publishing it. And then there is always a possibility of speaking about my experiences to groups of people who could come from centres of re-education, or from groups of patients that have a common diagnosis like Alzheimer’s.

But he comes the problem. I have bags of ideas and I’m never short of finding ways to articulate and express them. Where I fall short is in my ability to put these ideas into action. To cross the chasm. I can think of so many excuses NOT to do this and therein lies the problem.

Crossing The Chasm

As I am saying to people at the moment, I am not drinking my own Kool-Aid, I’m not taking on board the only advice that I’m dishing out to everybody else. And when I talk about it to certain people, they are flabbergasted. They are just listening with incredulity. Amazed that someone like me who has so much get up and go and drive and positivity keeps falling short at the final hurdle.

Why? Good question. It’s a kind of fear, trepidation, and confidence issue. When I look back over my career, I have only ever launched products, brands and propositions starting with blank pieces of paper. But the difference is I suppose I had a team around me whom I could bounce ideas off and maybe that is what is missing. But I know these are just excuses of a rambling fool who doesn’t quite have the bottle to do what it says on the tin.

Teamwork

So what I’m afraid of? I have an alert on my phone at 4pm every day that says “What is the thing you are most afraid of?” I can’t remember why that Alert is on my phone but suffice it to say it is this that I am the most afraid of. The fear of crossing the chasm.

Here we go again! Well at least I know where the problem is. Now I just need to treat it in the nicest possible way that enables me to fulfil this action from a position of abundance and not scarcity.

I am reading that the stiff upper lip of the British is actually not all that it’s cracked up to be. Big boys do cry. Or rather it’s okay for big boys to cry. Is this idea of bravado becoming out dated? I don’t think so. I believe everything has its place but right now this is not the time for bravado. Quite the opposite. It is about coming to terms with my emotions and my feelings and dealing with them one by one in order to move forward.

#334 So…Unconditional Friendship

« The root of true confidence grows from our ability to be in UNCONDITIONAL FRIENDSHIP with ourselves « Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’m not quite sure where I heard this or read this quote. But it’s been on my mind for a few days now. This is something that is very close to me and interests me to delve deeper.

So what is the root of true confidence?
“The root of true confidence,” says meditation and dharma teacher Pema Chodron, “grows from unconditional friendship with ourselves, to train in gentleness, and to trust in our natural intelligence to navigate life.

Why is any of this relevant and meaningful? Good point. It speaks to the notion of an inner voice. At least for me. The one that you often hear bouncing around ideas around your head that are seemingly contrary to what you may have just thought, seen, heard or experienced. Actually that’s not quite true. The voice can be positive or contrary. It can be harmonious and consistent with what you thinking. But it can also be inconsistent and not aligned.

Breaking the chains of the Inner Voice

There are several ways to help control this inner voice, including meditation and by practising imagery. Meditation can help keep our most fervent critic, ourselves, in check. The default mode network (DMN), which is brain activity which occurs when we aren’t actively focused, likely drives our inner voice.

So we have an inner voice when we are not focused. I would add when we are tired as well. And this appears to be one voice that I hear every day, several or even many times during the day. Right now for example, I hear it as I am narrating this post.

I read this earlier: “I don’t fret about decisions or whether I’m walking the right path or not. I trust tomorrow will sort itself out tomorrow. I’ve just got to take care of today.” I totally agree with the second half of the sentence but I do feel that I do fret about decisions whether I’m walking the right path or not. I’m not totally free in my ability to let my thought processes lead me in the right direction. Maybe not being totally free is not the exact words that I am looking to use. Perhaps it’s more about being not totally comfortable in my ability to let my thought process lead me in the right direction.

So why am I uncomfortable? I nearly said I’m worried that I am thinking erroneous thoughts. I believe that there is absolutely no point in worrying per se because it is a state and time in the future that you have no control over right now. So trying to stay on point and focused, part of me is thinking bizarre thoughts. By bizarre I mean strange and not in keeping with what I would like to be thinking.

There is a part of me that is saying that my life is one massive repetition. A repetition of simplicity when I am a person who thrives on change and complexity. So now the inner voice is questioning this. And I do tend to agree that I recognise and like change but I do not seek out change specifically and explicitly. True I like variety but I also recognise the value of simplicity. It calms me down and it renders my life bearable, even beautiful. So I like variety in my simplicity.

I wonder why I’m thinking like this. I look out of the window and I see that it is cloudy grey and boring. We are coming into the second half of autumn which means the clocks go back soon and the nights become shorter, darker and more difficult to manage. From my point of you. I am very much an outdoors person and I am really longing for seeing the sea, being outside, seeing sunshine and more importantly the Sun and Blue Sky. It’s that, that renders my heart truly happy and content.

And I have all of that with Charlotte. It’s very strange how I can rewrite my stories and see and feel the results instantly. Immediately. How we can go from being grumpy one minute to being smiling and very happy the next.

Thank you 🙏 Charlotte. And now guess who’s calling? The stars are realigned. Onwards and upwards together.