#421 So…Best days Worst day

The best days have inconveniences. The worst days have silver linings. But they are still the same day.

When we hear bad news, it seems that the whole day is ruined. If on the other hand we receive a cheque in the post or a rebate, our attitude to our entire day changes and we are on top of the world.

Life is full of change. It is said that the only constant in life is change. My days are on the one hand very long and yet when I look back on the day, I am amazed by all that has been achieved. It puzzles me to understand why this is the case.

Right now I am sitting on a stone surround that is protecting a beautiful tree waiting for my Orthophoniste appointment. I am so much more curious than I ever was yet I tend to go with the flow and let life happen.

I do worry. Even though I try hard to lean into it and let it exist for I know that everything has its time before something else then takes its place. What are my worries? Holidays! Holidays for the kids, where to go and what to do. But I know that if I progress the research, choice, discussion and booking all at the same time, it will not happen and I will become upset. What’s more, what does that achieve? Headaches and heartaches with little or no progress. And how do I feel? Lousy, undermined, a failure and ultimately despondent.

And now I have finished with my Orthophoniste, Laura, who has just told me she is moving to the Var, an hour or so from Antibes and means our time is coming to an end, which is sad for me but I am happy for her. Very happy for her and her partner. I am now contemplating finding another Orthophoniste, who are few and far between in Antibes or accepting that this “season” is over. Laura explained that I have made outstanding progress. It’s not perfect but good progress. Last July when I met her, she noted that I could not even remember what I did yesterday.

Laura confirmed that nobody can remember what they did six months ago. She acknowledged that twelve months ago I could not even remember what I had for dinner the night before or what I had done during the day. She confirmed that I had made rapid and incredible progress. She gave me some advice to concentrate on clarifying and articulating what I wanted to say in clear bite-size chunks. She felt that because of my daily journaling, my blog writing and my book writing that I am working my memory very hard. And it’s showing. I also need to remember that it is four years since the accident and that at my age the brain performs less than say a young twenty five year old. I resisted the temptation to say that I felt like a twenty five year old. That’s progress in itself. Less impulsive and more reflective. But it is a thought provoking comment as I do feel that time is standing still and that my recovery is all occurring in the present moment. Bizarre!! But time is marching on and I am ok with that.

So all in all sad that she is leaving but I think it’s a sign and time to end this season and open up another

Antibes in the sun
Old man with young thoughts

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