#401 So…Anxiety followed by Love

I keep saying Hakuna Matata, no worries, but it doesn’t work all the time. I take deep breaths yet remain tense. All because I am being taken out of my comfort zone. And that’s good as it makes me learn and develop, but I do have secret worries about my ability to integrate. Going into Paris, negotiating the metro with thousands of people is anxiety making but it needs to be done. This is my continual journey of re-integration by moving forward.

I seem to remember writing about this sometime ago. This secret anxiety. It wells up inside of me and becomes noticeable when I am engaging in new activities or when I am not following my normal routines. Meditation and journaling really help me baseline my fears and anxieties to the point where I can be grounded and try and live my life. I don’t say live my normal life because there’s nothing normal about my life now. I accept that. I have to. Hakuna Matata.

My son and my daughter are unwell due to food poisoning, we think, when they ate out with me in Paris. And I am running to chemists, making sure there are enough bananas and rice to eat because that’s all they can eat. And again this makes me anxious. Learning to control my emotions and dealing with them in the moment, taking deep breaths and forging on makes this new reality very engaging.

But its an experience all the same and it’s taking me out of my comfort zone. That’s okay! In cinemas and theatres for three hours or more, three times in the same week, without moving at all in the seat or getting up to stretch my legs is a new new new new experience.

It’s hard but then nobody said life was ever going to be easy. It really isn’t. But it is enjoyable because I relish the moments that make me happy, contented and loving in the moment. By appreciating what happens, I’m able to remember and recount positive memories to make me smile and fill me with heartfelt warmth.

This week has been all about my kids who have stayed with me while they are on holiday.

On Friday night, staying up until close to midnight, I organised the whole week. Choosing the activities, identifying how to get there and get back, eating opportunities with you in the flat and also before after activities. And it was very important to leave time to rest and recover for all of us as well as time for them to do their own thing in their own time. It sounds easy or not very complicated but these are all challenges for me, ensuring that the planning is done but there is flexibility in case plans change. Which of course they do. Especially if food poisoning comes into play.

We went to see Babylon, The new Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Diego Calva and Tobey Maguire film, which lasts over three hours. Right from the first minute, I was taken by the intensity of the cinematography and that carried on for the whole film. What an amazing and extravagant Ruby it’s Fons with the all-star cast who were all outstanding. There are many different interesting stories that you want to follow which one of them succeeding and then just as you thought it was all perfect, they failed just as much. A real rollercoaster of a ride! And given that we were approaching Mardi Gras, we decided to go for pancakes which were at the time very enjoyable in the pancake district of Montparnasse in Paris. Delicious until the next day when unfortunately the kids suffered from food poisoning!

Babylon' review: Sex, drugs and elephant diarrhea - Los Angeles Times

The next outing was to travel to North Paris to see Avatar 2. The way of water. In 3-D! For 3 1/2 hours, we wore glasses that transported us into the make-believe world of Pandora. The first film was launched in 2009 and this is the long awaited sequel which has been delayed due to the pandemic and also due to the enormous technological requirements to film in 3-D underwater. This film did not disappoint, And was truly exceptional. This sequel is visually breathtaking and incredibly engrossing. Story, respectable, spirituality and above all the shooting make for me a film and story that is probably one of the best I have ever seen. The level of detail in scene is beyond belief. And there are more sequels coming as shooting Avatar 3 has already commenced. Awesome!

Avatar 2 : on en sait un peu plus sur le film Disney | MOMES
James Cameron compare Avatar 2 au Seigneur des anneaux et justifie son  retard : nouvelle image

The final activity was to go and see the French adaptation of a Mel Brooks classic Les Producteurs (the Producers). So completely different and a wonderful time spent with the kids enjoying it was a very good musical with phenomenal actors. And directed by Alexis Michálik who is very well-known in the theatre circles of France, It is the story of how a team and producers try and create the biggest swindle in insurance by putting on the worst musical comedy ever seen! Very funny and very entertaining!


Three very good choices and a wonderful week was had by all of us. My legs hurt from all the sitting but it is a small price to pay for the amount of love and entertainment we have all had.


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