#354 So…Time to Slow down

Well it probably is because of the full moon that is expected to show its bright and shiny face tonight. Whatever is the reason, things are changing again.

Things are always changing aren’t they? Well it seems to me that they are. But it really isn’t plain sailing. Not a walk in the park. But there is a realisation that I am changing and I imagine to the relief of you all, for the better 😋.

I had my third yoga session today, this time at Camilla’s wonderful studio in Valbonne. The town is simply gorgeous. In the country, lots of wide open spaces with large houses interspersed with forests and parks and all nestled in the hills above Antibes. It truly is an idyllic setting and it is where I find Camilla and her yoga studio.

Is this me? One day! Soon!

I’m making a very big effort to be at ease out of my comfort zone. Many things have been testing me over the last few days and I am experiencing an awareness and recognition that these are possible events being sent to try me but I don’t react… Much!. That’s not fair or true as I’m very pleased with my ability to remain calm and zen and not get roped into inappropriate and meaningless discussions about nothingness that I can’t change anyway.

So what does this have to do with yoga? Well, I did not sleep too well in anticipation of travelling up to Valbonne in time and in the right frame of mind. And the last time I saw Camilla she came to Charlottes place in Antibes so this time I committed to going to her yoga studio. It meant a 30 minute walk to the bus stop where there was no guarantee that the bus would appear on time or at all. But it did. Thankfully 😅.

Camilla was in a frame of mind that necessitated concentration, attention and no flippant comments that I am prone to make to alleviate my anxiety. Still, the 1 1/2 hours passed really quickly as usual and during the wind down meditation, Camilla was very positive about my commitment, progress and desire to continually push myself.

She asked me afterwards how I was feeling. And I said that I was frustrated by not being able to do everything that I wanted to do and she said something that I have not heard before. She said that other clients of hers, who are novices at yoga, sometimes come with a lot of baggage and a past set of experiences that weigh them down. I come to the session with just myself, being 100% in the present moment and 100% giving attention to Camilla. I am dedicated and in the zone. That’s really interesting. And hugely motivating to hear.

When I left I really did feel very calm albeit tired. But I was very much in the zone and it was if time was moving slower. I was not consumed with getting from a to b as fast as possible and accepting and acknowledging that the bus would arrive when it arrives and that I will enjoy the time going through the streets of Valbonne on the way to Antibes.

I feel different. There was an energy inside me but it wasn’t making me speedy. It was a recognition of who I am and who I am today and accepting that I’m enjoying that feeling. Suddenly people all around me smiling, smiling at me and life appeared beautiful and enjoyable. So much so that I was very happy reading my book that I missed my bus stop. but very happy and smiling.

It’s a very calming feeling and yet I am progressing and managing to move my leg and my arm more than ever, irrespective of how tired I am. And that fills me with lots of hope as well as happiness right now.

Thank you once again Camilla for putting me in this space and being the wonderful and inspirational teacher that you actually are. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏

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